Top 10 Films has got its hands on a magic ticket that can transport you into any film you wish. Find out what happened when I, along with a few friends, went into the movies.
1993 was the year John McTiernan released Last Action Hero. It was a big-budget film that was widely panned by critics despite audiences loving it. Although it made over $130 million at the box office it could have made more had it not been released in conjunction with box office smash Jurassic Park.
The crux of the story hinges on a magic ticket that a young boy uses to magically transport himself inside his favourite film. Suddenly the film fanatic teenager is starring alongside his most-loved film star Jack Slater – played by Arnold Schwarzenegger who essentially parodies his own star persona. But the film is real -sort of – the bullets hurt, the car chases induce travel sickness and Sly Stallone is The Terminator. But there’s something gloriously magical about this world. I think that has something to do with every single woman being drop dead gorgeous and the fact our intrepid hero can get blown up and still walk away without a limp.
It got me thinking about the magic ticket and what adventures you could have in other films. What if there was a magic ticket that could transport you into your favourite film? What film would I choose?
Then I got greedy. I decided to use Houdini’s Magic Ticket more than once. Join me and a few friends as we travel inside our favourite films.
I first jumped on the Columbia Airlines Flight 409, a Boeing 747 en route from Washington Dulles International to Los Angeles International in the film Airport. Probably not the best idea since a mad man plans to blow the aircraft up but while we are still airborne, I decided to bring with me a character from another film to keep me company.
What character would I most like to be sat next to on a plane…
You know, nothing grinds my gears worse than some chowderhead that doesn’t know when to keep his big trap shut…
Raymond Stanz because I know he’d have some great stories to tell of ghostly goings on and paranormal activity. Only thing was, after I left my seat for a short toilet break, I met Del Griffith who proceeded to sell me, over a conversation lasting a number of hours, £100 worth of shower curtain rings. I then fell asleep, or rather, was knocked unconscious by the smell of his feet when he released them from the two-day old socks he was wearing.
What character would I most want to enjoy a passionate romance with?
…look at that smile…
After hopping out of Airport after a good ol’ catch-up with one of the Ghostbusters (and a very good nap – thank you Del), I decided to meet up with Alex Forrest for a passionate romance. Somebody should have warned me though – having only ever seen the first thirty minutes of Fatal Attraction I was in for a BIG surprise!
If I were a cop who would I want as my partner?
…Come quietly or there will be… trouble…
I made my getaway with all limbs intact but I couldn’t do anything for the rabbit – which I enjoyed as part of a light supper with the Gallagher family. It was finally time for some bullet-flying action so I jumped into Robocop as he’s the only guy I could envisage for a partner if I were a cop. The indestructible Robocop is the only police officer you could hide behind in a fire fight and know you’ll both survive. It did get problematic at lunchtime – I wanted McDonald’s, he wanted to pop to Marks and Sparks for gourmet baby food.
What animated feature would I love to walk around in?
Substitute the library of literature for a DVD collection!
Beauty and the Beast…I can imagine that ten-storey high library being my DVD collection. But then there’s the songs…and the dancing…and the talking cutlery!
What adventure based on earth would I most like to go on?
…Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
This is an easy one. I joined Gordie, Vern, Chris and Teddy for a long and tiring journey to find a dead body in Stand By Me. There was singing, there was joke-telling, there was reminiscing, and there was storytelling.
What adventure based in an otherworldly, fantasy-based location would I most like to go on?
When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn’t take too long.
After such a tiring journey in Stand By Me – I was on my feet for days, I decided, since I was in mucky, three-day old clothes to join the Szalinski and Thompson kids for their heroic journey from the back of their garden to their door in Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I can confirm that being miniaturised is a lot of fun – some of the time.
What movie gadget would I love to try out (or steal)?
…You made Kelly LeBrock…out of a DeLorean..!
With a magic ticket such as this I had to meet one of my all time favourite characters – Doc Brown. So that’s what I did – he’s a great guy and Einstein is a lovely dog. But our conversation got caught short thanks to a bunch of guys with automatic weapons. So I jumped in the DeLorean and took it for a spin. Time travel is awesome!
…but I had other ideas about film gadgets so I took the DeLorean back to 1985 just in time to save Doc Brown’s life, which he was very appreciative of, and went off to steal Wyatt and Gary’s computer from Weird Science. Whatever divine intervention caused their Commodore 64 to produce the stunning Kelly LeBrock from Wyatt’s en suite bathroom was something definitely worth trying!
What film’s plot would I alter and how would I do it?
…Save the clock tower…and Goose, Hudson and Kyle Reese…
There was one thing on my mind with this task – save as many as you can! I wanted to rush into Saving Private Ryan and save John Miller from being shot, Mellish from getting a knife agonisingly pushed into his chest, and Jackson from getting blown up in the clock tower but I did an Upham and ended up cowering behind a cappuccino-making machine. Damn my lack of courage.
Thankfully that didn’t hinder my attempt to save the one man everyone hopes never dies. Oh yes, I went over to the Top Gun school in Miramar. I borrowed a gun and shot Goose in the leg while he was singing You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling. Yes, it hurt him, and yes, I was arrested but he never got on that ill-fated flight with Maverick and ended up becoming one of the US Navy’s best and most decorated fighter pilots. He is still with his wife Carole and they now have eight children!
Before I could move on to the next task I had to save two lives that I’ve always wanted to save. I decided, against my better judgment to head into Aliens. I spiked Hudson’s drink before he left for the planet of LV-426 meaning he was too ill to fly. He had to stay on board the ship and therefore was never killed by the alien that unfairly came up through the floor. I unfortunately was made to take his place on the rescue mission – I really wish I hadn’t done this one.
While I was there I couldn’t help thinking of Corporal Dwayne Hicks. Although he survives the film I knew what I had to do. To The Terminator I went to save the life of Kyle Reese!
What one film would I most want to be transported into, simply to be a part of that world?
In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.
There are so many films that I’d love to be transported into but the fun The Goonies have looks like a day and a half worth living.
Written by Daniel Stephens
And now let us see what everyone else did with their magic tickets…
Rodney at Fernby Films
Claire at Cinematic Delights
Marc at Go See Talk
Ruth at Flixchatter
Andina at Inspired Ground
Iba at I Luv Cinema
Novia at Polychrome Interest
Terri at Goregirl’s Dungeon
Sherry at A Restless Moment
Stella at Byrneholics
Fitz at Nevermind Pop Films
Max at Impassioned Cinema
Terrence at Scarlet Sp1der’s Blog
Paolo at Okinawa Assault
Nostra at My Film Views
Mette at Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions
Castor at Anomalous Material
Joel Burman at Deny Everything
Tyler at Southern Vision
Alyson at The Best Picture Project
George at The Droid You’re Looking For
Jessica at The Velvet Cafe
Scott at Front Room Cinema
S.J. Honeywell at 1001plus
Leopard13 at It Rains…You Get Wet
Mike at Grab Bag Cinema
Alex Thompson at Benefits of a Classical Education
Lisa at Lisa Thatcher
Barbra at Barbra Writes: A Daily Dose of the Sensual Life
Caz at Let’s Go To The Movies
Nick at Cinema Romantico
Wulan at Nerd in Writing
Corey at JustAtad
Diana at Aziza’s Picks
Abdullah at The Wet Puddle
Louise at Louise Reviews
Yvette at In So Many Words
My Wife, My Sister-in-Law and Steph (a special post in support of the Cystic Fibrosis Trust)
…if you’d like to join in simply leave your link in the comments section below and I’ll add you to the list.
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