A Polished Turd Will Still Kick Ass At The Box Office: Trevorrow Plays Trump Card For “Jurassic World 3”
Perhaps “polishing a turd” in the movie world means adding Laura Dern, Sam Neill, and Jeff Goldblum to the cast of Jurassic World 3, the third film in the horrendous reboot franchise.
Colin Trevorrow – the writer-director of Jurassic World and producer of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom – knows a thing or two about polishing turds. It does not matter how bad his blockbuster movies are, they make money (Universal’s most commercially successful no less) The rebooted franchise’s first film made an incredible $1.6 billion worldwide. It was one of the worst film’s Top 10 Films saw in 2015.
We weren’t the only ones to hate it. The Associated Press called it “an ugly, over-saturated movie” and a number of critics noted it was basically a rip-off of Deep Blue Sea. “The characters are all paper-thin, but that doesn’t matter because their sole purpose is to get chomped,” said J. R. Jones of the Chicago Reader.
Ryan Syrek argued that for everyone who enjoyed “playing with dinosaur toys … as a kid … you’ll leave with a big, dumb grin on your face”. I didn’t. So I left £10 out of pocket, soaked through thanks to a summer rain shower, and miserable for three straight days and nights.
But money is money. The sequel arrived and once again earned a pretty penny or two. Actually, 1.308 billion to be exact. It appears a lot of people like to see their turds polished. And here we go again for Part 3. But this time Trevorrow’s trick is to call on the help of Jurassic Park’s original cast to join Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas-Howard. The hope is that – given the fact we know the latest effort will be as original as an iPed – will not notice what the film is ripping off because we’ll be too busy wallowing in its nostalgia.
Anyway, Dern, Neill and Goldblum will reprise their roles for Trevorrow’s next billion dollar earner, all probably taking home a piece of the profits on top of massive salaries. Good for them. I for one will await it arriving on free-to-air TV and then, at airtime, make sure I’m watching another channel.
You can start wasting your money on Jurassic World 3 from June 11, 2021.