Life Lessons With Woody Allen: His Top 10 Film One-Liners

Woody Allen – director, composer, playwright, producer & actor – has made a career out of writing great dialogue, perfecting the “one-liner” with often self-deprecating pathos. Top 10 Films lists our favourites…

Woody Allen's Top 10 Best One Liners

10. “Sex without love is an empty experience but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
Love and Death (1975)

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9. “I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.”
Take the Money and Run (1969)

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8. “What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people.”
Radio Days (1987)

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7. “I was thrown out of NYU for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
Annie Hall (1977)

Top 10 Woody Allen One-Liners

6. “The most beautiful words in the English language aren’t ‘I love you’ but ‘it’s benign.’”
Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Top 10 Woody Allen One-Liners

5. “The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there IS a God, I don’t think that He’s evil. I think that the worst you can say about Him is that, basically, He’s an underachiever.”
Love and Death (1975)

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4. “When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.”
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) (1972)

Top 10 Woody Allen One-Liners

3. “There are worse things in life than death. I mean, if you’ve ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you’ll know exactly what I mean.”
Love and Death (1975)

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2. “Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.”
Annie Hall (1977)

Top 10 Woody Allen One-Liners

1. “Last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)

Top 10 Woody Allen One-Liners

Compiled by Daniel Stephens

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About the Author
Editor of Top 10 Films, Dan Stephens is usually found pondering his next list. An unhealthy love of 1980s Hollywood sees most of his top 10s involving a time-travelling DeLorean and an adventurous archaeologist going by the name Indiana.

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  1. Avatar
    SidekickReviews Reply

    I’m loving all these Woody Allen quotes. This post reminds of all the Woody Allen films I still need to catch up on. Great stuff Dan!

  2. Avatar
    Dan Reply

    Woody Allen is very hit and miss for me but he is a screenwriter and comes up with some terrfic lines. Nice job on the article Dan

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